Arkansas California Colorado

ARKANSAS

WORLD’S SHORTEST ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADE — HOT SPRINGS

A STAGGERING 98-FOOT-LONG PARADE—YES, LESS THAN A BASKETBALL COURT—DRAWS AROUND 30,000 PEOPLE EVERY MARCH IN HOT SPRINGS. FLOATS, ELVIS IMPERSONATORS, FLAVOR FLAV’S GIANT GREEN CLOCK, AND DALLAS COWBOYS CHEERLEADERS PACKING BEADS INTO EVERY SINGLE FOOT. RIDICULOUSLY CHARMING AND COMPLETELY ABSURD.

CALIFORNIA

PYTHON FOUND IN BAY AREA GETAWAY CAR

A 10-FOOT PYTHON WAS DISCOVERED HIDING IN SOMEONE’S CAR AFTER A POLICE CHASE AROUND THE BAY AREA. NOT YOUR TYPICAL GETAWAY VEHICLE PASSENGER. “POLICE: NO COMMENT ON WHO WAS DRIVING.”

COLORADO

RACCOON FAMILY USES WOOD-BURNING STOVE AS AIRBNB

IN GOLDEN, ANIMAL CONTROL BUST OPEN A HOMEOWNER’S WOOD STOVE—ONLY TO FIND A RACCOON MOM AND HER FIVE KITS USING IT AS A COZY FAMILY SUITE. MOTHER RACCOON BOLTED UP THE CHIMNEY WHILE THE DEPUTIES SNUGLY RE-HOMED THE BABIES IN A BUSH. THE SHERIFF’S OFFICE CHEEKILY CALLED THE SETUP A “TEMPORARY AIRBNB.”