Virginia

IN ASHLAND, VIRGINIA, AN UNUSUAL BURGLARY HAS BECOME THE TALK OF THE TOWN AFTER A RACCOON BROKE INTO A STATE-RUN ABC LIQUOR STORE AND INDULGED IN WHAT OFFICIALS ARE CALLING AN ACCIDENTAL TASTING SESSION.

STORE EMPLOYEES ARRIVED IN THE MORNING TO FIND BROKEN WHISKY BOTTLES SCATTERED ACROSS THE FLOOR, SHELVES KNOCKED ASKEW, AND STICKY FOOTPRINTS TRACKING ACROSS THE AISLES. AT FIRST, THEY SUSPECTED A PERSON HAD FORCED ENTRY — UNTIL THEY NOTICED THE CEILING TILES PUSHED OUT OF PLACE. FOLLOWING THE TRAIL LED THEM TO THE RESTROOM, WHERE THE CULPRIT WAS FINALLY FOUND: A RACCOON, CURLED UP AND FAST ASLEEP AFTER WHAT APPEARED TO BE A LONG NIGHT OF DRINKING.

ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICERS WERE CALLED IN AND CONFIRMED THAT THE RACCOON HAD LIKELY ENTERED THROUGH THE CEILING, FALLEN INTO THE STORE, BROKEN BOTTLES DURING THE FALL, AND UNINTENTIONALLY CONSUMED SOME OF THE ALCOHOL WHILE SCRAMBLING AROUND. THE OFFICERS DESCRIBED THE ANIMAL AS LETHARGIC AND CLEARLY INTOXICATED. THEY REMOVED IT FROM THE STORE, MONITORED IT AS IT SOBERED UP, AND LATER RELEASED IT SAFELY BACK INTO THE WILD.

INCIDENTS OF WILDLIFE STUMBLING INTO HUMAN SPACES AREN’T UNCOMMON, BUT ALCOHOL-RELATED ONES TEND TO ATTRACT EXTRA ATTENTION. EXPERTS NOTE THAT RACCOONS ARE NATURALLY CURIOUS AND DEXTEROUS, WHICH MAKES THEM FREQUENT VISITORS IN ATTICS, DUMPSTERS, AND UNSECURED BUILDINGS. FINDING A RACCOON IN A LIQUOR STORE BATHROOM, HOWEVER, IS A NEW TWIST EVEN FOR SEASONED ANIMAL CONTROL WORKERS.

THE VIRGINIA ABC SYSTEM IS NOW ASSESSING THE PROPERTY DAMAGE AND LOOKING AT WHETHER REPAIRS ARE NEEDED IN THE CEILING AREA TO PREVENT A REPEAT VISIT. LOCALS HAVE BEEN AMUSED RATHER THAN ALARMED, WITH MANY JOKING ONLINE ABOUT THE “HOLIDAY PARTY CRASHER” AND THE RACCOON’S APPARENT PREFERENCE FOR WHISKY.

WHILE THE STORY HAS SPREAD WIDELY FOR ITS ODD CHARM, OFFICIALS ARE USING IT AS A REMINDER: IF YOU DISCOVER SIGNS OF WILDLIFE INDOORS, AVOID APPROACHING THE ANIMAL AND CALL PROFESSIONALS. EVEN A GROGGY RACCOON CAN CAUSE HARM IF IT FEELS THREATENED.

FOR NOW, THE ASHLAND “LIQUOR-STORE RACCOON” HAS BECOME AN UNEXPECTED SEASONAL HEADLINE — A SMALL MOMENT OF CHAOS, RESOLVED SAFELY, AND A TALE THAT WORKERS AT THE STORE SAY THEY’LL BE RETELLING FOR YEARS TO COME.