Mississippi

DOWN ON THE GULF COAST, THE CITY OF PASCAGOULA ONCE AGAIN HOSTED ITS ANNUAL MOSQUITO CALLING CONTEST—A REAL, SANCTIONED EVENT WHERE GROWN ADULTS STEP ONTO A STAGE AND ATTEMPT TO LURE IMAGINARY MOSQUITOES USING NOTHING BUT MOUTH NOISES AND CONFIDENCE.

CONTESTANTS BUZZ. THEY WHINE. THEY ESCALATE. JUDGES LISTEN CLOSELY, SCORING ACCURACY, REALISM, AND EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT. THIS IS NOT IRONY. THIS IS TRADITION. WINNERS RECEIVE TROPHIES, BRAGGING RIGHTS, AND THE QUIET RESPECT OF PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE ENEMY INTIMATELY.

THE EVENT TRACES BACK DECADES, PART FESTIVAL, PART ENDURANCE TEST, PART WARNING TO NATURE: WE KNOW YOUR SOUND. MISSISSIPPI DIDN’T CHOOSE THE MOSQUITO LIFE—THE MOSQUITO LIFE CHOSE MISSISSIPPI.

SO IF YOU’RE VISITING MISSISSIPPI AND HEAR A STRANGE BUZZING DRIFTING OFF THE COAST, DON’T PANIC. THAT’S JUST CIVIC PRIDE, VIBRATING AT FULL VOLUME.