Episode 17: The 90s Pop Rock Rabbit Hole

THINGS THAT MAKE ME MAD.

LET’S TALK ABOUT WASHINGTON STATE FERRIES, A PUBLIC SERVICE WHOSE ENTIRE BRAND PROMISE IS CROSSING WATER IN BAD WEATHER—AND YET SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GET ABSOLUTELY SIDELINED BY… FOG. FOG. NOT A STORM. NOT ROUGH WATER. NOT THE SEA RISING UP TO RECLAIM ITS ASSETS.

FOG.

THIS WEEK, A COUPLE OF FERRY TERMINALS JUST… QUIETLY CLOSED. KINGSTON/EDMUNDS. PT. TOWNSEND/COUPVILLE. SAILINGS CANCELED. PASSENGERS STRANDED. SCHEDULES ERASED LIKE THEY WERE OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS. THE EXPLANATION? CAPTAINS DIDN’T FEEL COMFORTABLE RUNNING IN REDUCED VISIBILITY. LET ME CALL YOU A WAAMBULANCE, CAP. AND LOOK—LET ME ALIGN WITH SAFETY FOR A SECOND. SAFETY MATTERS. NO ONE WANTS UNSAFE OPERATIONS. BUT HERE’S THE THING: THIS IS WASHINGTON. FOG IS NOT A NOVELTY.

IF FOG SHUTS THE SYSTEM DOWN, THEN WHAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE IS A FAIR-WEATHER FERRY SERVICE.

THESE BOATS HAVE RADAR. THEY HAVE LOOKOUTS. THEY HAVE AIS.THEY HAVE GPS, ELECTRONIC CHARTS, PROCEDURES, CHECKLISTS, BACKUPS FOR THE BACKUPS. THEY RUN AT NIGHT. THEY RUN IN RAIN. THEY RUN IN WINTER DARKNESS AT FOUR IN THE MORNING.

BUT FOG ROLLS IN AND SUDDENLY THE WHOLE OPERATION HITS PAUSE?!

WHAT MAKES ME MAD ISN’T THE FOG.

IT’S IDIOTS. DECK OFFICERS WHO SHOULDN’T BE SPOOKED BY REDUCED VISIBILITY.

PEOPLE PLAN THEIR LIVES AROUND THESE BOATS. JOBS. MEDICAL APPOINTMENTS. SCHOOL PICKUPS. SUPPLY CHAINS. ENTIRE ISLANDS FUNCTION ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT THE FERRY SYSTEM IS MARITIME-GRADE RELIABLE.

AND WHEN THE ANNOUNCEMENT COMES, IT’S ALWAYS FRAMED LIKE AN ACT OF NATURE. AS IF FOG JUST APPEARED, UNANNOUNCED, WITH NO HISTORICAL PRECEDENT.

FERRY ALERT: SERVICE SUSPENDED. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING.

UNDERSTANDING?!

BECAUSE IF FOG IS NOW A NO-GO CONDITION, WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST PRINT THAT ON THE SCHEDULE. RIGHT UNDER THE DEPARTURE TIME. RIGHT NEXT TO THE FOOTNOTE THAT SAYS: “SUBJECT TO FEAR.”

MONTANA

IN WESTERN MONTANA, A SUMMER AFTERNOON TOOK AN UNEXPECTED TURN AT A ROADSIDE ATTRACTION KNOWN AS THE MONTANA VORTEX AND HOUSE OF MYSTERY.

AUTHORITIES SAY FOUR TEENAGERS WERE BRIEFLY REPORTED MISSING SUNDAY AFTERNOON AFTER ENTERING THE ATTRACTION NEAR COLUMBIA FALLS. THE SITE, FAMOUS FOR OPTICAL ILLUSIONS AND GRAVITY-DEFYING DEMONSTRATIONS, HAS DRAWN TOURISTS FOR DECADES.

ACCORDING TO THE TEENS, THEY ENTERED THE HOUSE OF MYSTERY SHORTLY AFTER 2:30 P.M., EXPECTING A STANDARD GUIDED WALKTHROUGH. INSIDE, THEY SAY THEY EXPERIENCED WHAT THEY DESCRIBED AS DISORIENTATION, CHANGES IN BALANCE, AND A STRONG SENSE THAT TIME WAS MOVING “INCORRECTLY.”

ONE TEEN TOLD REPORTERS THAT OBJECTS APPEARED TO ROLL UPHILL, WALLS SEEMED TO SHIFT, AND VOICES SOUNDED DISTORTED. ANOTHER SAID THEY FELT PHYSICALLY TALLER, THEN SHORTER, DEPENDING ON WHERE THEY STOOD. PHONES REPORTEDLY LOST SIGNAL INSIDE THE STRUCTURE.

MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE THE ATTRACTION, STAFF MEMBERS SAY NO IRREGULAR ACTIVITY WAS OBSERVED.

HERE’S WHERE ACCOUNTS DIVERGE.

FAMILY MEMBERS WAITING NEARBY SAID THE TEENS WERE GONE FOR NEARLY TWO HOURS. CELL PHONE RECORDS SHOW MULTIPLE UNANSWERED CALLS AND TEXTS DURING THAT PERIOD.

A SPOKESPERSON FOR THE ATTRACTION RELEASED A STATEMENT SAYING THE MONTANA VORTEX IS “A LONG-ESTABLISHED OPTICAL ILLUSION ENVIRONMENT” AND THAT “SENSORY CONFUSION IS A KNOWN AND EXPECTED PART OF THE EXPERIENCE.” THE STATEMENT EMPHASIZED THAT NO GUESTS HAVE EVER BEEN PHYSICALLY TRAPPED INSIDE.

THE INCIDENT HAS DRAWN ATTENTION ONLINE, WITH SPECULATION RANGING FROM SIMPLE PERCEPTUAL DISTORTION TO MORE IMAGINATIVE EXPLANATIONS. EXPERTS IN HUMAN PERCEPTION NOTE THAT TILTED STRUCTURES CAN STRONGLY AFFECT BALANCE, TIME AWARENESS, AND SPATIAL JUDGMENT.

NEBRASKA

IN RURAL NEBRASKA, A STRETCH OF CORNFIELDS OUTSIDE A SMALL FARMING COMMUNITY HAS BECOME THE FOCUS OF GROWING CONCERN—AND QUIET SPECULATION.

IT BEGAN LATE LAST WEEK, WHEN MULTIPLE FARMERS REPORTED IRREGULAR PATTERNS APPEARING OVERNIGHT IN MATURE CORN. NOT CROP CIRCLES IN THE CLASSIC SENSE, OFFICIALS SAY, BUT AREAS WHERE ROWS APPEARED SELECTIVELY FLATTENED, ROTATED, OR REORDERED—AS IF THE FIELD ITSELF HAD BEEN BRIEFLY RE-ARCHITECTED.

ACCORDING TO LANDOWNERS, THE CHANGES OCCURRED BETWEEN DUSK AND DAWN, WITH NO TIRE TRACKS, NO FOOTPRINTS, AND NO SIGNS OF HEAVY EQUIPMENT. IN SEVERAL CASES, CORN STALKS WERE BENT BUT UNBROKEN, STILL ALIVE, STILL ROOTED, AS THOUGH PRESSURE HAD BEEN APPLIED AND THEN CAREFULLY RELEASED.

LOCAL AUTHORITIES CONDUCTED SITE VISITS BUT FOUND NO EVIDENCE OF VANDALISM OR TRESPASS. GAME CAMERAS PLACED ALONG FIELD EDGES FAILED TO RECORD MOVEMENT. LIVESTOCK NEARBY SHOWED SIGNS OF AGITATION OVERNIGHT, BUT VETERINARY CHECKS FOUND NO INJURY OR ILLNESS.

THEN CAME THE SECOND WAVE.

RESIDENTS REPORTED LOW, SUSTAINED HUMMING SOUNDS AFTER MIDNIGHT—DESCRIBED AS MECHANICAL, BUT NOT INDUSTRIAL. SEVERAL PEOPLE SAID THE SOUND APPEARED TO MOVE THROUGH THE FIELDS RATHER THAN ACROSS THEM.

CELL PHONE RECEPTION IN THE IMMEDIATE AREA REPORTEDLY DROPPED FOR SHORT INTERVALS.

STATE OFFICIALS ACKNOWLEDGE THE SITUATION IS “UNDER REVIEW.”

NO ONE HAS CLAIMED RESPONSIBILITY. NOTHING HAS BEEN STOLEN.

AND YET, FARMERS SAY THE FIELDS DON’T FEEL THE SAME.

FOR NOW, INVESTIGATIONS CONTINUE. THE ROWS HAVE BEEN STRAIGHTENED. THE HUM HAS FADED.

A STORY OUT OF THE HIGH DESERT OF NEVADA, WHERE A MISSING-PERSONS SEARCH BRIEFLY TURNED INTO SOMETHING FAR STRANGER—BEFORE REALITY, AS IT OFTEN DOES, REASSERTED CONTROL.

AUTHORITIES SAY A LAS VEGAS COUPLE IN THEIR EARLY THIRTIES WAS REPORTED OVERDUE LAST FRIDAY AFTER FAILING TO RETURN FROM A PLANNED DAY TRIP THROUGH A REMOTE STRETCH OF DESERT LAND. TEMPERATURES THAT DAY EXCEEDED 100 DEGREES, AND CELL SERVICE IN THE AREA IS LIMITED.

ACCORDING TO OFFICIALS, THE COUPLE BECAME DISORIENTED AFTER LEAVING A MARKED ACCESS ROAD WHILE FOLLOWING WHAT THEY BELIEVED WAS A SHORTCUT INDICATED ON A GPS APP. THEIR VEHICLE EVENTUALLY BECAME STUCK IN SOFT TERRAIN, FORCING THEM TO CONTINUE ON FOOT.

IT WAS DURING THIS PERIOD, THE COUPLE LATER CLAIMED, THAT THEY ENCOUNTERED WHAT THEY BELIEVED TO BE EVIDENCE OF NON-HUMAN ACTIVITY.

THEY REPORTED FINDING UNUSUAL IMPRESSIONS IN THE SAND—GEOMETRIC, REPEATING, AND UNLIKE KNOWN ANIMAL TRACKS. NEARBY, THEY PHOTOGRAPHED METALLIC-LOOKING FRAGMENTS PARTIALLY BURIED AT THE BASE OF A ROCKY OUTCROP. ONE IMAGE APPEARED TO SHOW SCORCHED GROUND ARRANGED IN A ROUGH CIRCULAR PATTERN.

AFTER SPENDING THE NIGHT IN THE OPEN DESERT, THE COUPLE WAS LOCATED THE FOLLOWING MORNING BY A SEARCH-AND-RESCUE TEAM AND TRANSPORTED FOR MEDICAL EVALUATION. BOTH WERE DEHYDRATED BUT OTHERWISE UNHARMED.

ONCE SAFE, THEY SHARED PHOTOS AND VIDEOS FROM THEIR PHONES ON SOCIAL MEDIA. WITHIN HOURS, THE IMAGES WENT VIRAL, ACCOMPANIED BY SPECULATION RANGING FROM EXPERIMENTAL AIRCRAFT TO EXTRATERRESTRIAL CONTACT. THE STORY GAINED OVER 1 MILLION VIEWS ON INSTAGRAM.

BUT THE MOMENTUM DIDN’T LAST.

GEOLOGISTS QUICKLY IDENTIFIED THE MARKINGS AS EROSION PATTERNS CAUSED BY WIND VORTICES. THE METALLIC FRAGMENTS WERE CONFIRMED TO BE LIGHTWEIGHT DEBRIS FROM WEATHER-MONITORING HARDWARE INSTALLED DECADES EARLIER AND LONG SINCE DECOMMISSIONED.

EXPERTS NOTED THAT DEHYDRATION, HEAT STRESS, AND PROLONGED EXPOSURE CAN SIGNIFICANTLY ALTER PERCEPTION AND PATTERN RECOGNITION, ESPECIALLY IN UNFAMILIAR TERRAIN.

BY MONDAY AFTERNOON, OFFICIALS FORMALLY CLOSED THE CASE AND THE COUPLE HAS DECLINED ADDITIONAL INTERVIEWS.